Now, tiny people are generally NOT aware of the dropping option. In fact, this week I had two friends yanking with all of their might on either side of a toy grocery cart. Crouching down and with my best teacher voice I observed, "Wow, both of you really want that shopping cart."
"Uh-huh," they agreed, grunting with effort.
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
After a pause, the older of the two, we'll call him William, recited, "We could share!"
Given that neither had decreased the intensity of their pulling with this revelation, I asked, "Well, how does that work?"
Wisely, William said, "I get it, and then he gets it."
The other child, who we'll call Paul, vehemently disagreed with the order of this proposed solution.
"You both want it first." I noted, "What are you going to do now?"
At which point, William said, "I," yank "will," yank "pull," yank "HARDER!"
OK, so my kids are still trying to figure out how all of this works, and that's what they're supposed to be doing. However, I find that tiny people are often able to elicit the same kind of futile yanking in the adults around them. Frankly, they tap into our need to control things. They seem so out of control much of the time. They make a great deal of noise. They may scream with no warning and for no apparent reason. They have been known to burst into song without the least provocation. They move about too quickly - often in jumping, darting ways. And they like to touch stuff. Stuff that can spill. Stuff that can break. Stuff that was beautifully arranged. YOUR stuff.
Their ways are alien and unnerving. At times, they talk and they talk, but THEY MAKE NO SENSE! What is worse, when you talk to them, they often seem not to hear or comprehend.
Is it any wonder they bring out our need to control?
However, I have discovered something important. There is a Direct Inverse Relationship between the Amount of Control I am trying to exert and the Amount of Fun occurring around me.
Now I can hear a few of you Very Serious Grown Up Responsible Types muttering about "Anarchy" and "Someone Needing to Be In Charge." I am not suggesting we dive headlong into Chaos. Au contraire! In fact, I am proposing that a bit of forethought and some advanced planning can significantly decrease your need to tug on the aforementioned rope.
If you are going to be sharing time and space with some tiny people, then take a look around you from their perspective. Get down to their height. Crawl about on your knees. Lose your mental inhibitions. Think about what you would really like to do in that space if, (and this part is very important) YOU WERE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES! What furniture needs to be jumped on? Where are the glittery things that must be touched? Are there spillable, sprayable, smearable materials around? What does your space invite a tiny person to do in it?
Now ask yourself, "Which of these activities can I tolerate, or even enjoy?" If every single thing you believe a tiny person will want to do in your space makes your right eye start to twitch uncontrollably, then take the tiny people to a playground. Or one of those rubber rooms they have now where children can bounce and climb and scream to their hearts content. That's what those places are made for.
However, if you say to yourself, "Building a fort out of the couch cushions sounds like fun," or "I don't want them using the good china, but we have some pots and pans that they could play with," then you might be ready to share your space.
Creating spaces that decrease the need to control the tiny people is only one way of dropping the rope. And frankly, it's not always a practical one. Say you have a two and a three year old and you are suppose to go visit your Great Aunt Henrietta, who owns a massive collection of Lenox hummingbirds. DON'T GO! Really, it won't be any fun. Bring Henrietta to your house. Get a sitter. Pick her up and take her to Red Lobster (Great Aunts LOVE the cheesy biscuits!).
The point is, you are the adult. You have the ability to imagine what could happen - both good and bad - before it occurs. IT IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT DISTINGUISHES US FROM THE TINY PEOPLE.
Oh, and once you've put away your antique porcelain dolls and the replica of the Eiffel Tower that you built out of toothpicks, get down inside that castle you built in the living room and have some fun!
Stay Tuned for my upcoming installment,
"What to Do When They've Already Finger Painted Your Motorcycle."
